Believe it or not, children crave limits. Children need a flexible sense of order and they can grow nervous/anxious without limits. Limits provide a physical environment where your child can feel safe and learn. The limits grow just like your child grows developmentally. For example, a three year old is too young for a sleep over, when a child is five or six years old you may consider it, and a ten year old is probably ready for a slumber party. Your child's readiness determines the boundries and when they expand. Setting limits is not controlling your child, but gives structure and encourages them to think, make choices and to take chances.
Post your limits ( rules, guidelines) Limit the guidelines to 5 or 6 and refer to them with your child.
Here are four family guidelines for treating others.
1) Use appropriate words to tell how we feel. Do not name call or use bad language
2)Do not hurt others physically or emotionally
3) Do not hurt property, others' or your own
4) We work to get out of a problem, not to stay in it.
Joslin, K.R., Positive Parenting from A to Z. (1994)
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